Thanks for the memories

I hate January and I think I have for as long as I can remember. It is a long month at 31 days. It comes after Christmas so it's a huge let down. It's winter, so it's cold and still dark. My birthday is in February so as a kid, it seemed like it would never end. My January is going pretty well in the AMK Stitches business department. My Etsy sales have picked up and I am just staying on top of local orders. I LOVE this! I embroidered a sign for my Blue Room wall, "Sewing: Cheaper than Therapy." Sewing is my therapy. But it's not cheaper. My insurance pays for therapy. It doesn't pay for my fabric. Of course, a counselor could help me with my fabric addiction, but why? I don't have a problem. (wink) But staying busy and positive and good meds are helping me feel pretty normal and maybe even better than normal so WooHoo for that!

I love Spring and I am excited to see the Spring come. I love flowers and leaves and sun. Winter in the Northwest just doesn't have the sun I need. So I am remembering the lovely flowers in my yard from last Spring. Hmmm..I forgot the above picture has frost on my flowers. Well, that kind of goes along with my next thoughts. When Spring comes, my husband will deploy again. This stinks like nothing stinkier.

This morning I happened to be reading through old convos on Etsy (that's conversations, messages) as I was deleting some. I came across messages between myself and another Hawaii Etsy seller whose husband was deployed with the same unit as mine from 2007- 2009. This was a 15 month deployment. My friends asked how the kids and I were doing. In Feb 2008, almost 3 months into the deployment this is what I said:

"Whew! Life has taken me out with a 2X4. Wham! I was sick with stomach flu and each of my kids. I am up in the middle of the night now because Charlotte started puking. I had a dead car battery, Charlotte broke her arm, Henry is being evaluated for delays, Amelia is in trouble in school. We had a birthday party for Henry and Lydia (they share a birthday, the 16th)Henry is back and forth figuring out allergies and stuff. Lydia is on a 6 week medicine treatment for a skin condition. I have started using the CDC for free hourly care so that is cool. Lee may have to take his leave next month and I am sick about that. I don't want him to come home yet. And if he doesn't my mom won't come visit with her sister. It is really bad timing. Sheesh! As I am writing, Henry's waking up crying! I see I will not get much sleep again tonight."

I didn't want Lee to take his leave then because then we would have almost a year apart and it wouldn't break up the time. It's funny to me that I included that part in with broken arms and the rest. I wonder what Amelia's trouble in school was. A month after this, Henry started Early Intervention and by summer he had a diagnosis of Autism. We still fight with his allergies and Lydia's poor sensitive skin. These kids were all diagnosed later in the deployment with CVC, Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. We did have the flu in our home a few times but these children would puke so often it was almost funny. Vomit, then fine. I teased that they were allergic to their dad being gone but the doctor confirmed that in fact, they were!

In our first deployment, Amelia broke her arm falling off a trampoline and the 2nd deployment Charlotte broke her arm falling in her heelies. I really pray that we won't be 3 for 3 this time around.

So I'm longing for Spring but dreading it too. Painfully remembering the experiences from before, preparing for a new one and praying that this time will be different. Easier? I don't know but why not?! I'm older, kids are older, our lives are changing. Someone asked Lee recently how I would do and he said "My wife's not a wimp." Were sweeter words ever spoken? We'll be ok.

And I have that expensive therapy to carry me through.