The Puking Song

Warning: If you have a weak stomach, stop reading now.

So in my last post I wrote about a few things I am very thankful for. My health was on there. I am grateful for my health again. And extra grateful for my children's health.

We ALL got sick again on Sunday. All but one, I should say. So I am lying in bed being sick and the 4 year old comes to me to say, "Mom, the girls are sick and they want soup." Grroooaaaannnn! She was the only one not sick. I have said many times, as hard as it is to have sick kids, it is worse when I am sick because I can't help them, whether they are sick or not.

In the last 9 months, this is at least the 3rd time we have had major vomit around here. The last time it happened there was so much vomit everywhere in the middle of the night, it was downright insane. The 2 little ones actually did pretty well keeping it contained. In fact this same 4 year old made it to the toilet, garbage can or bucket everytime. Not so with the 8 year old. (or the 10 year old, but the 8 year old wins the puking prize every time)

The last time they got sick, I was awakened by running in the hall and gagging. "Who's sick?!" "Charlotte!" she moans. So she thew up in the sink after leaving a trail of it from her bed clear down the hall. AAHHH!!!! It clogged the sink. Then Henry woke up crying for awhile put him back to bed. Then Charlotte again, run, run down the hall this time in the toilet. But she missed the toilet again and then filled it with toilet paper and it is clogged. Yuck. She also throws up on her bedroom floor AGAIN! You are 8. Please try to get in the toilet. I even gave her a garbage can and towels. Keep in mind vomit is on her rug and the floor clear down the hall not to mention the clogged sink and clogged toilet. So I lie down again after cleaning the sink (gag) and I pull out my scriptures and start praying. Lydia also had woken up and was crying and I helped her and cleaned up more puke. So I am hoping to open my scriptures and find just what I need to comfort me. Right there in the Doctrine and Covenants I read "Prepare ye, prepare ye for what is to come."

Are you kidding me? What else?!

No more then 3 minutes go by and I hear someone else coming down the hall. "who's that?" "Amelia, I need to go to the bathroom." Before I can stop her she flushes the puke clogged toilet. "Mom!" "Oh no, come in my bathroom." She goes in my bathroom closes the door and I suddenly hear the wretching start. I jump up and see her sitting there with puke all over my bathroom floor. I threw up my hands and yelled "Heaven Help Me!"

Did I say yet that this was 4 AM and I had gone to sleep at midnight after trying like mad to put the baby boy down to sleep and was awakened with the first vomit at 1 AM. What the heck! So then I am cleaning floors, starting laundry, running baths, changing clothes and sheets, and donning rubber gloves to pull crud out of the overflowing toilet which was beyond any help from a plunger and scrubbing this floor where it had overflowed! On one hour of sleep.

I called my mom to tell her and she laughed and said "This would be funny if Lee was here, but he's not , so it's sad." I told her, "If Lee was here, this wouldn't be happening." It's Murphy's Law.

So Sunday night I was awakened by Charlotte throwing up and again, she didn't make the toilet, but all down the hall and in weird little piles scattered all over her room. What?! "Charlotte, what the heck!? Haven't I taught you where to puke by now?" Both times she got up she never made it into anything. Vomit everywhere!

So I would like to quote the song I dedicated to her 6 months ago, which is holding true even today. Ladies and Gentlemen, by the Dead Milkmen, I give you, "The Puking Song"

When I have to puke at night I can't be so indiscreet.
I don't run down to the john, I just throw up on my sheets.
I puke on my pillow and I puke on my floor.
It smells so bad it makes me puke some more.

If I know you, and you are interested in the song, I probably have my ipod in my purse right now and I will play it for you. Now I warned you that this was a gross post, but there are no pictures, so don't be a wimp. I love that puking girl so much and I am glad she is better now (again). And I am really hoping that next time she is sick (which I hope is 6 or 7 months, at least, down the road for obvious reasons) she has learned to throw up in the dang toilet so her sleepy mom (who always happens to get sick when these kids are sick) won't have to clean it up. I am still catching up on the clean up and it is late Wednesday night!

On a positive note: On Sunday night as I was recovering I watched TLC with the kids and we saw a documentary on a family with 27 children (4 biological and 23 adopted with various special needs). The mother described a bad experience (I don't think she said but I am assuming it was night because around here noone thrown up during the day unless they started in the middle of the night). She said about 10 or 12 of her kids had the stomach flu and so did she. So she would clean up a kid, go get sick, go clean up another kid and go get sick again. Oh man! Ok, I shouldn't complain about 4 kids getting sick in the night when that woman had a dozen sick kids. And the other day I only had 3 out of my 4 sick at one time. So see? Things could always be worse!